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I am soooo tired. My feet hurt.

In no particular order

So i finally met the elusive "Scotty" an aussie who has been looking for me. For no particular reason, just an Aussie in town looking for another Aussie. Seems like a nice enough bloke, we chatted about home - he's South Australian and an Adelaide Crows fan, and lived in Harbord for six years - footy, beer, bundy, durries, and all the rest of the expatriate bullshit. While Sonja, The Warriors girlfriend sat glassy eyed listening to our accents. He and i will talk more.

I met another Aussie by accident at The Irish Bar. He went to my high school and was three years ahead of me. How's that for a "small world moment"? He and i will also talk more.

The drunks started pouring down the street at midday - at one, The Irish Bar was full, and stayed that way until two am. Working an eleven hour shift really fucking hurt, especially since i started the day feeling dehydrated / hungover / like shit.

I didn't have time to scratch, i certainly didn't have time to drink more than a couple of sips of three beers as the day/night went on. Fire dept came in around four to check our numbers vs capacity and we were miles over but she just laughed and turned around and left.

St Paddys makes the Dallas idiots, all think they live in Vegas and they can cart open drinks anywhere. After three hours of herding them, and trying to get them within the bounds of the property so that they didn't and more importantly i didn't go to jail for letting them leave with an open container, some cops pulled up and yelled at the latest four dimwits to take their drinks off the street, and she glared at me when i tried to tell her something. She leapt from the car and i told her that I know they can't have drinks out on the street, and that these drinks weren't ours and i wasn't about to let them come into a venue with an open container as that violates another law.
She turned to the dimwits and said "If you're not his, and he won't let you in, then you had better just tip them out here now."
"Awww" whined the dimwits.
She glared.
Her partner chuckled.
Dimwits tipped.
For extra hilarity some drunks came tumbling over the railing insisting that the police pose for photos with them, drinks in hand. At that point i think the cops realised (if they didn't already) what kind of stupidity some customers are capable of. They helped me chase them back in or at least put their drinks down, and then dutifully posed for a couple of photos before fleeing the scene.

Slammed did not adequately describe the scene inside. With the rugby boys leading the charge, we stayed full for the eleven hours of my shift. Full. I saw a million IDs, made fun of the English for coming to an Irish pub, and had people from Germany, Finland, Australia, New Zealand, South Africa, Guatamala, Brazil, Ecuador, France, and Ireland of course, cross the threshold.

A pair of middle aged lesbians took a shine to me, and "helped" me work the door. At one point a sweet looking little old guy with spectacles, a walking cane, a jacket and vest came wandering out of the throng of drunks. I asked him to come have a beer with us for St Paddys, since he had found his way to an Irish Pub, so he toddled in. I saw him with a beer wander out to the patio and they made room for him and he sat quietly drinking his beer from a red plastic cup and admiring the screaming hispanic girls - four sisters and their mother. About an hour later a drunk girl was gently guiding him to the door, and looked at me for help, trying to convince hm to take a cab home. i asked him if he wanted me to get him a cab and he politely shook his head and with a glint of steel in his eye and a polite little smile he declined and insisted on walking. At which point the drunk girl handed him to the lesbians, one of whom insisted that her should-have-been daughter-in-law was a most wonderful person and even though i was married i still had to meet her. I turned away to check IDs and keep an eye on the overflowing fenceline (and customers) and left them to it. They talked for a while, and as the old fella set about leaving he leaned over to my new friend and said quietly, "Is your mother single?"
Which is flat out the best pick-up line i have heard in two years on the street. Kudos to you granps.

While i was sweeping out the glass and trash ridden patio after we had cleared everyone out, and while the ghetto-bird buzzed overhead shining it's searchlight at the street and it seemed us in particular, a group of mexican guys passed by and shouted at me
"Damn, man. I am so sick of seeing Mexicans fucking sweeping up at the end of the night, it's about time someone else did the fucking sweeping. Throw down the fucking broom, man!"
So inspired was i by his short but passionate fight-the-power speech that i nearly did. I did however, look up and laugh, "I hear you, but i'm Australian."

I also tried to intervene at the start of a fight on the street between Mr Grey shrt and Mr Green shirt. Green shirt was taller, but gray shirt was much angrier. i tried to tell them to take it easy, and Grey shirt snarled at me "I'm a Dallas Cop. You want to fucking go to jail too?" There is more than one way to skin a cop cat, so i flashed for the cops parked across the street. With a little coaxing they came wandering over and i briefed them and pointed them in the right direction. It seemed that mr Grey shirt was a Dallas cop, i was kind of hoping he wasn't so i could wave as they took him away, but it wasn't to be. The cops calmed things down, and headed back to their squad car. At least i kept my mouth shut when i needed to.

There was other hilarity but i might get to them when i remember. I did see JoJo at Old Town when we took "Toni" to Shuck'n'Jive, as well as seeing a whole lot of familiar faces, Big Tex, Little Ashley and Little Chris, The-Belgian-who-talks-like-a-kiwi, Timbo and The Beaner, my Redneck girl, Cookie Monster was civil to me as he passed by, and i heard the continued rumors of the reappearance of my taxi driver.

I stink of beer and i have barey drunk any.


( 4 comments — Leave a comment )
Mar. 18th, 2007 12:30 pm (UTC)
I'll never visit, but I do love to hear of your Street.
Mar. 18th, 2007 10:01 pm (UTC)
you should come over one day - maybe come for A-Kon. I can introduce you to the Texas geek mafia. :)
Mar. 19th, 2007 12:28 am (UTC)
no don't do that. They'll eat him alive
Mar. 19th, 2007 08:27 am (UTC)
Keep up the good work.
You are giving those lazy mexicans a good name!
( 4 comments — Leave a comment )


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