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Win a weekend as Smokey!

That's right gentlemen, you too could win a fabulous weekend on The Street with all its characters, excitement and imperial entanglements.

Stare blankly as people complain that you ask for their ID, laugh through their pitiful stories and jokes, escort drunks to the door, talk in a funny accent (B.Y.O.), get pawed by women, try out your favourite WWE manuever on unruly drunks, dodge bottles, get paid a pittance!

All you have to do is lose any good sense you might have, park your dignity, and tell me in 25 words or less why on earth you want come and work as a bouncer for Texas/OU weekend, which starts in eight days.

Entries close soon, probably Tuesday, and there may be multiple winners. Prize is non-transferrable, and cannot be exchanged for cash. Winner must provide own transport, and bring a mag-lite or similar large heavy object that lights up. Any lightsaber will be confiscated (Mine!), and have next of kin already informed. Smokey is not responsible for any injuries physical, mental or other sustained during this weekend, but there is a "couple of beers" deductable in place.

Write away!

Comments

( 6 comments — Leave a comment )
automatic_kafka
Sep. 29th, 2006 12:04 am (UTC)
I'm good with people. I like bars. I have always wanted to hurricanrana someone. Beer is good.

When is this?
smokedamage
Sep. 29th, 2006 12:05 am (UTC)
October 6 & 7th
encephelopathy
Sep. 29th, 2006 02:05 am (UTC)
Oh no. Texas/OU weekend has been the bane of my existence since I moved to Dallas. I lock myself into my apartment those nights...I am very sorry that you musty work Lower Greenville that weekend.
The only ray of sunshine you can get out of the whole thing is that you're not one of them, and you never will be.
Good luck. I would bounce in a French accent to help you out if I weren't, you know, pale and flimsy.
thechlor
Sep. 29th, 2006 04:13 am (UTC)
tempting but no thanks, i am already the winner of another competition to waitress and be a faux mother in scandinavia
trickykitty
Sep. 29th, 2006 06:49 pm (UTC)
I'm not applying, but I have an applicant to suggest and you'll know who it is...

"They Eyes Of Texas Are Upon You..."

*evil grin*
smokedamage
Sep. 29th, 2006 07:21 pm (UTC)
kill you all
( 6 comments — Leave a comment )

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