Smoke Damage (smokedamage) wrote,
Smoke Damage

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European politics Tutorial 103

The Eurovision song contest. This is the perfect cheat sheet for understanding European politics. Like a State of the Union kind of thing where the whole Union gets up and says it's piece. The entrants range from strange to ridiculous, and very occasionally there's something not just "traffic accident" fascinating there. If any of the Texans reckon they can get it on TV i would love to watch it.

edit: Nobody vote for the Moldovans because one of their contestants was responsible for this atrocity. Reading the wiki on this is scary:

"In Germany, however, both versions hit number 1 and 2 in the charts at the same time."

reading the eurovision website is scarier. The Germans have sent a country band called "Texas lightning"
the Finns have sent what look like life size action figures of Skeletors henchmen.

The Latvian a-capella boy-band brought Bobby McFerrin out of hiding to sing "Don't Worry, Be Happy"

Lithuania has sent a bunch of politicians or perhaps real estate agents, by the look of things.

Poland seem to have selected six people at random. Including younger versions of George Michaels, Adam Ant and Elton John.

The Dutch are predictably gorgeous.

Portugal sends their own spice girls, but you know, Portuguese and hot, while Spain found four Spanish and hot sisters called La Ketchup. I'd love to be making this up.
and the Brits?
They send good old Daz Sampson. Ol Daz from down the pub, roight? Get the pints in, luv, Daz'll be on telly in a minute.

According to the website "Daz sings about "Teenage life" (which might have been in juvenile detention by the looks of him.)

I can see it all now, Britain's chav representative headbutts the latvian boys, and nicks the lithuanians credit cards and cocaine, and then tries to get the Dutch girls high and shag them out the back.

i can't wait
Tags: europe, eurovision, politics
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