i don't want to feel like this, but i've got nothing else left.
I've spent years, doing the right thing, ever since i knew there was a right and wrong thing. I've spent years trying to build things, create things, to make life better for those around me. And every step, every fucking step and this is not an exaggeration, i've been blocked, and dogged by lies, rumors, panic and derision by those who i'm trying to build these things for. After a while i learnt to expect these hinderances and went about trying to play for them and play around them, but they got more and more complex. I think i dealt with them well, but the purely illogical ones that i did not understand at all, i couldn't prepare for.
The obvious answer is that i should just stop doing these things, but i can't. I don't know how. It's that simple, i have not got the slightest idea how to stop. Should it be this hard?