jc-worried

Because it's 2021

The Pakistani-made jacket decided to zip up properly today after I, and the internet, failed to get it to co-operate, and my Chinese laundromat also had it for a week or two and couldn't get it to zip properly.
Buoyed by this positive, I immediately had the wind sapped from my sails because despite the lights coming on, the ignition switch won't fire so the bike is going nowhere. Shop is closed now until Monday.

Winning...
mean

poetic and tragic

my description has been labelled poetic and tragic by one of my friends

"the last two years has been a series of shots through the fuselage,  engines damaged,  wings full of holes,  tail fin shot up. Steering has been difficult, running low on fuel,  undercarriage unlikely to descend,  out of ammo,  so I'm reduced to firing my service revolver out through the shattered cockpit,  and this old spitfire might not make it back across the channel,  but I'm still in the air,  and will give Jerry a good talking to if that's all I've got left!"

mean

(no subject)

everything generally remains a bit shit.

Although. 

I seem to be bowling pretty well, as well as sticking my catches. Two catches for the Apaches on Saturday — one moving to the right to pluck it out of the air at midwicket, and another at long on, that died on me (or i misread), meaning i had to sprint and dive forward to get under it, but rolled through cleanly and came up with it in both hands, and then took another (apparently a "Screamer") at slip for the Lions today, to dismiss the Barts most dangerous looking batter.
I don't remember if i took any wickets on Saturday (i think i only bowled 3 overs), but got one of the openers today with the slow ball, which he mistimed and hit high into the air to be caught, and later got a perfect snick through to the keeper when the Barts needed to really start putting some runs on.     

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mean

(no subject)

Exhausted and going to be sore from the first full weekend of cricket (80 overs in the field across the two days) for the better part of ten months.

Apaches (who need a name change) bowled out Dolphins for 143, and are 0/32 from ten, and i ended up with 4/13 from 5.4 overs — one C&B, lbw (plumb as), one caught with a sloppy shot popping it up to cover and the irrepressible Nikunj, and finished of with a gentle nick thru to the keeper. 

Backed it up today with 2/6 from 3 overs both bowled off the pads, with ball swinging late, and gripping off the turf to straighten on the batters.  Also took a sharp low catch at slip off KMac's bowling.  Didn't have to bat, as the boys comfortably chased down the 87 run target with 5 wickets in hand. 

Rode to the game, but got caught in the wrong lane and was forced to take the M4 tunnel which dumped me out the far side of the ground, so i had to stop and figure out how to get back.  Riding in traffic is still mildly terrifying, but that's probably a good thing, and will keep me alert. I even got up to 80kph today!  Go me.  

The old bloke remains in hospital, but he is going through physical rehab, and i think they are planning on releasing him next week. We will see. 



mean

Extremely difficult.

Everything right now.

Everything previously occurring continues. Some increasing, some on the wane. Added some because I'm that smart.

Another short and exciting storm the other night, lighting flashes and sideways rain.

Cat sulking because I took him to the vet. At least he got to see mommy and his retarded brother.

O week. The usual excitement.

Start Zoloft tonight to help with evening brain racing. Not sure how I feel about that.

Apaches struggling, and losses this round will see them out of the finals.
jc-rage

Back

Wait, what just happened?

Holy fuck.

Here I am.

It finally feels like summer. A downpour late afternoon, cooling down the days heat.

Clopping down the street in my boots. (I walk like a god in these boots too). Iguana skin.

This ancient and worn jacket creaking in my ear with every step.

A bit of this, a bit of that coursing through my system. A toast to this and to that to kick it all off.

Click.

Everything shifts.

Out of focus.

I'm back. ?

Xmas eve. Nowhere to go, nowhere to be, no porchlight on to pull me home.

Tom-Toms of Night Attack in my ears.

Nothing. No hope I could paint, shapes in the shadows.

Bleak.

"What if, right, what if you've already had the greatest moment of your life, and all you have to look forward to is sickness, and misery, and death?"

City out of control.

Here I come. Quiet now.
jc-shiner

Health Update

So dad is still in ICU, they still don't know what is wrong with him - being a grumpy old socialist is not a diagnosis apparently.

Intermittent days of dialysis have drained him of 12 litres of fluid that had gathered in his hands, feet, belly and elsewhere. After a few days liquid started to appear in his lungs and they've drained about a litre and half from there. Today's nurse reckons they'll probably unhook him from stuff tomorrow and see if he can move about at all, which will be difficult after a week flat on his back.

He's eating, drinking, cracking wise, telling stories when he gets an audience, and cursing the government and management for their failings and incompetence. So business as usual.

He's thinking of writing a book and starting a political party, and he's really not on any painkillers, so i'm not sure where this has all come from.

Greek Paramedic 2 came to get me, when SuperMegs life got in her way - daughter's relationship drama this time. So she was unable to pick me up as planned and didn't make it until being able to come and retrieve me at the end of the day.

I'm exhausted.

I slept about four hours before i woke up and then my brain wouldn't shut the fuck up and let me go back to sleep. So, thanks brain, you useless piece of meat.

I eventually got out of bed after pmac left for work, and blundered around for a bit, before trying to get my shit together and start my day.

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i got sidetracked and just realised i am already spinning this hard.
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GP2 came and saved me from myself after breakfast, and i was really not presentable. I picked up that a wraith ICP shirt was not appropriate for a hospital ICU, so at least there was that. I was a bit confused. I'd overheard myself arguing with myself. I was overfull from a breakfast i've had a hundred times, but today looked like way too much food, but i ate it eventually.
I had a coffee (and it's possible everything else that happens for the next few hours is due to this).


No cannot do this now.
Tack!
https://images.app.goo.gl/HHLFyqX4oqcRjBs98